








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 786 | 30% |
| Smokes | 321 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 695 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,765 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiet | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | hENDRUCK- | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Bolt | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | weSs+ | 54% | 63 |
| #5 | Sensaw0w | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | RelayP | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | MikeyyM | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | CADZOR | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Kush it to the limit' | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Kuisis | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weSs+ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | hENDRUCK- | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | CADZOR | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | MikeyyM | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Sensaw0w | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weSs+ | 288 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | MikeyyM | 207 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bolt | 116 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | hENDRUCK- | 102 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sensaw0w | 87 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | +1.70 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | weSs+ | +1.62 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Kuisis | +1.26 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | Bolt | +0.50 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | RelayP | +0.02 | 83 | 52 |





