








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3386 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2584 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3515 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,423,742 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNd | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | Hubert | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | ★Oblivion★ | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | Joshum1 | 61% | 119 |
| #5 | Jamomin | 49% | 571 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNd | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | Hubert | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | ★Oblivion★ | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | Joshum1 | 61% | 119 |
| #5 | Jamomin | 49% | 571 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamomin | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Joshum1 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Hubert | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ★Oblivion★ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamomin | 1789 | 0.18 | 50 min |
| #2 | Joshum1 | 248 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ★Oblivion★ | 77 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hubert | 73 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | eNd | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshum1 | +1.18 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | Hubert | +0.78 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Jamomin | +0.17 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | UKWaffles | -0.04 | 76 | 45 |
| #5 | ★Oblivion★ | -0.44 | 68 | 55 |





