








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 664 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2283 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1303 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1586 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,781 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DuMat(te)in | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | IEM Cologne Jesus | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | is smky bbq pork halal? | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Igel007 | 42% | 117 |
| #5 | Mr.Pink | 41% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | seeki93 | 34% | 44 |
| #12 | wiese | 33% | 61 |
| #13 | Bilbo Beutlin Muschischleck | 29% | 21 |
| #14 | Crème Brûlée | 25% | 16 |
| #15 | Söder & Gomorrah | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiese | 177 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mr.Pink | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Igel007 | 107 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 94 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | is smky bbq pork halal? | +3.66 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | #ZWE MR Ugly | +3.42 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | wiese | +1.51 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Semprini | +1.23 | 44 | 69 |
| #5 | Mr.Pink | +1.02 | 49 | 67 |





