








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4057 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5727 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3966 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2711 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,666,670 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | is smky bbq pork halal? | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | IEM Cologne Jesus | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 49% | 138 |
| #4 | seeki93 | 49% | 224 |
| #5 | Crème Brûlée | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Pink | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | HercONE | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | seeki93 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Pink | 592 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | wiese | 477 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 380 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 274 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Semprini | 258 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | is smky bbq pork halal? | +3.81 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | #ZWE MR Ugly | +1.87 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | wiese | +1.48 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Crème Brûlée | +0.91 | 40 | 30 |
| #5 | Mr.Pink | +0.38 | 48 | 67 |





