








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6939 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 3527 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2367 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,358,332 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | is smky bbq pork halal? | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Semprini | 51% | 65 |
| #3 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 49% | 176 |
| #4 | IEM Cologne Jesus | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 48% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igel007 | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | wiese | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | HercONE | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiese | 501 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | #ZWE MR Ugly | 481 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Igel007 | 322 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Semprini | 231 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Death Helloween 2020 RIP | 220 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | is smky bbq pork halal? | +2.39 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | wiese | +1.87 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | #ZWE MR Ugly | +1.56 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | Mr.Pink | +0.57 | 45 | 66 |
| #5 | Semprini | +0.30 | 42 | 69 |





