








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2876 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1408 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2212 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,690 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Love and Thunder | 75% | 59 |
| #2 | S H I N.θΎ | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Lord Habibi | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Quack | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 56% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | Vocs | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | ck_____101 | 50% | 50 |
| #10 | βΏ susuDES β | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | Stalin | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Habibi | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Quack | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Stalin | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Vocs | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| 296 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Love and Thunder | 218 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | ck_____101 | 205 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | S H I N.θΎ | 174 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lord Habibi | 124 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Love and Thunder | +4.24 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | ππ€ πππ’π | +2.45 | 92 | 49 |
| #3 | S H I N.θΎ | +2.43 | 82 | 76 |
| #4 | πͺπΆπΈπ² π°ππͺπ½π½ β
| +1.36 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | Stalin | +1.03 | 78 | 66 |





