








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2815 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2645 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,436 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | aD* | 47% | 184 |
| #5 | dr3amer_k | 46% | 198 |
| #6 | tusil_cz | 46% | 270 |
| #7 | fX* | 45% | 245 |
| #8 | pomatenej | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tusil_cz | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | fX* | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | lassie | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | dr3amer_k | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | aD* | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr3amer_k | 737 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | tusil_cz | 567 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | fX* | 309 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | aD* | 224 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | lassie | 162 | 0.02 | 3 min |





