








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2268 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3599 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3695 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1665 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,688 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamplbee | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | dr3amer_k | 51% | 99 |
| #3 | tusil_cz | 48% | 130 |
| #4 | fX* | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | mathes_cz | 47% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dr3amer_k | 51% | 99 |
| #3 | tusil_cz | 48% | 130 |
| #4 | fX* | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | mathes_cz | 47% | 184 |
| #6 | lassie | 46% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tusil_cz | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | mathes_cz | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | lassie | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | fX* | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | dr3amer_k | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr3amer_k | 335 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | tusil_cz | 290 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | mathes_cz | 197 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | fX* | 163 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | lassie | 92 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamplbee | +1.39 | 41 | 64 |
| #2 | dr3amer_k | +1.05 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | tusil_cz | +0.25 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | mathes_cz | -0.54 | 36 | 49 |
| #5 | lassie | -0.68 | 52 | 63 |





