










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1173 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,792 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aD* | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | fX* | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | dr3amer_k | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | lassie | 47% | 85 |
| #5 | tusil_cz | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fX* | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | dr3amer_k | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | lassie | 47% | 85 |
| #5 | tusil_cz | 45% | 69 |
| #6 | mathes_cz | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr3amer_k | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | fX* | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | mathes_cz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | tusil_cz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr3amer_k | 256 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | tusil_cz | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | mathes_cz | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | fX* | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | lassie | 33 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr3amer_k | +1.73 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | aD* | +0.22 | 40 | 49 |
| #3 | tusil_cz | +0.05 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | mathes_cz | -0.32 | 36 | 51 |
| #5 | lassie | -0.97 | 50 | 65 |





