










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1410 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2233 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1333 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1391 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,964 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | 54% | 93 |
| #2 | Аберама Голд | 53% | 164 |
| #3 | Rozā brilles | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Альфи Соломонс | 43% | 89 |
| #5 | Teorah | 36% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | 54% | 93 |
| #2 | Аберама Голд | 53% | 164 |
| #3 | Rozā brilles | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Альфи Соломонс | 43% | 89 |
| #5 | Teorah | 36% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Аберама Голд | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Альфи Соломонс | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Teorah | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Аберама Голд | 349 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Teorah | 219 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Билли Бой | 200 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rozā brilles | 71 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Альфи Соломонс | 57 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Билли Бой | +3.13 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Отец Джон Хьюз | +2.12 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Teorah | -0.03 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Rozā brilles | -1.43 | 25 | 59 |
| #5 | Аберама Голд | -2.23 | 27 | 73 |





