








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1636 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1313 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,081 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | みちゃん | 65% | 77 |
| #2 | $MOKEDCHEDDATHAASSGETTA | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ReesePuff | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | ark | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Ryuu | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | みちゃん | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | QueenJellyBean | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ReesePuff | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Ryuu | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | inferno | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | みちゃん | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | QueenJellyBean | 253 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ryuu | 155 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | inferno | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ReesePuff | 88 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ark | +6.26 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | Magikarp | +5.47 | 90 | 53 |
| #3 | dunkr (eepy) | +2.80 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | みちゃん | +2.21 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | ReesePuff | -1.32 | 52 | 51 |





