








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 11% |
| Smokes | 4393 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3851 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2795 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,359 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blade | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | cx | 56% | 105 |
| #3 | Politically (in)Correct | 55% | 86 |
| #4 | seen | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Kaylum | 50% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | seen | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Kaylum | 50% | 247 |
| #6 | Bourgeoisie | 50% | 199 |
| #7 | Liv | 48% | 143 |
| #8 | 76561199558303147 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blade | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Kaylum | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Bourgeoisie | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Politically (in)Correct | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | cx | 8 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaylum | 593 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | cx | 469 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Bourgeoisie | 400 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Liv | 229 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Politically (in)Correct | 188 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Politically (in)Correct | +2.92 | 50 | 69 |
| #2 | seen | +2.89 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | Kaylum | +1.63 | 56 | 72 |
| #4 | Blade | +1.38 | 73 | 36 |
| #5 | cx | +0.74 | 57 | 70 |





