








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2124 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 767 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1166 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,521 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aiden | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Shimshar | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | shponk | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Fizz | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | blu | 64% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SybreN | 61% | 23 |
| #8 | Chowders | 61% | 28 |
| #9 | Yoonte | 60% | 62 |
| #10 | ale | 59% | 46 |
| #11 | Raeder | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuzuki | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Yoonte | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Chowders | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | SybreN | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | shponk | 3 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoonte | 212 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Yuzuki | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | ale | 123 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chowders | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fizz | 93 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizz | +3.06 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | blu | +2.76 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | Yuzuki | +2.11 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | SybreN | +1.04 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | shponk | +1.04 | 64 | 51 |





