








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 21% |
| Smokes | 686 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,492 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niko | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ɾҽҽɾ | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Bo$$u. | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | BIG REMM | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Drimksu | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ヌースカイネン | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | lõngus | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | Chebum | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | topg | 48% | 46 |
| #12 | rumpzoo | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topg | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Bo$$u. | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | lõngus | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Drimksu | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | wad a w2nkah | 2 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topg | 205 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | ヌースカイネン | 82 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | mhkl | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | lõngus | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bo$$u. | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヌースカイネン | +2.39 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Armadyl | +2.11 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | ɾҽҽɾ | +1.59 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | lõngus | +1.21 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | niko | -0.25 | 69 | 49 |





