








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 663 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1132 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,665 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n9 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Kurjur Paspes | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Lemon | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | rumpzoo | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Armadyl | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | topg | 44% | 62 |
| #9 | Chebum | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | mhkl | 41% | 41 |
| #11 | BIG REMM | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | ヌースカイネン | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bo$$u. | 11 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Drimksu | 8 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | mhkl | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | rumpzoo | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | ヌースカイネン | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topg | 239 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | ヌースカイネン | 130 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | rumpzoo | 128 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | mhkl | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bo$$u. | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヌースカイネン | +2.42 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Lemon | +2.22 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Armadyl | +1.97 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | lõngus | +1.64 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | Drimksu | +0.89 | 77 | 58 |





