








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 24% |
| Smokes | 590 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,843 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG REMM | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | rumpzoo | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | topg | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Armadyl | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | ヌースカイネン | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bo$$u. | 21 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | topg | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Joller | 4 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | lõngus | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | mhkl | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topg | 168 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | ヌースカイネン | 118 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bo$$u. | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | mhkl | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | lõngus | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヌースカイネン | +2.84 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | lõngus | +2.12 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | Armadyl | +2.05 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Drimksu | +0.65 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Joller | +0.41 | 43 | 54 |





