








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2950 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1746 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1242 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,000,770 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo Punk Bi Girl | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | zoomin | 49% | 282 |
| #3 | Ansarith | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | sleesh | 47% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo Punk Bi Girl | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | zoomin | 49% | 282 |
| #3 | Ansarith | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | sleesh | 47% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleesh | 51 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | zoomin | 43 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Ansarith | 14 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Emo Punk Bi Girl | 5 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoomin | 930 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | sleesh | 450 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ansarith | 130 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Emo Punk Bi Girl | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lagging | +2.99 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | zoomin | +1.47 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | Emo Punk Bi Girl | -1.99 | 40 | 45 |
| #4 | sleesh | -2.59 | 32 | 42 |
| #5 | Ansarith | -3.65 | 41 | 53 |





