








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 328 | 26% |
| Smokes | 238 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 411 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 304 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,375 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL PINADORοΈ»θ« | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | β₯ Picco β₯ | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | ONAK-A- | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | JΙͺmmy ΟΡΡdΒ΄Ϊ± | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | CARREGA! | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joanaa | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | JΙͺmmy ΟΡΡdΒ΄Ϊ± | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONAK-A- | 93 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #2 | JΙͺmmy ΟΡΡdΒ΄Ϊ± | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Joanaa | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Olivais_88PT | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | β₯ Picco β₯ | 18 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CARREGA! | +6.70 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Joanaa | +3.07 | 60 | 78 |
| #3 | βͺπππππΎπβ | +1.54 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | EL PINADORοΈ»θ« | +0.67 | 78 | 6 |
| #5 | ONAK-A- | +0.66 | 63 | 72 |





