








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8635 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6457 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6203 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8123 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,361,293 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sr.Filipe | 18 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | ONAK-A- | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | dude | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | ❥ Picco ❥ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Joanaa | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ONAK-A- | 2044 | 0.31 | 61 min |
| #2 | dude | 518 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Olivais_88PT | 506 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | ❥ Picco ❥ | 442 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Joanaa | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |





