








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3396 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3491 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3393 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2843 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,022 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Low | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | R1c0la | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | mCon | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | betongk | 59% | 59 |
| #5 | sundae | 59% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rubaka | 53% | 133 |
| #10 | <EiErnaCkeN GoEs InfEcted> | 51% | 39 |
| #11 | Bisso | 47% | 104 |
| #12 | kadsen | 46% | 26 |
| #13 | fater | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sundae | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | oNx | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Rubaka | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Bisso | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | betongk | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sundae | 877 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | oNx | 764 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | Rubaka | 313 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | betongk | 182 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bisso | 176 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sundae | +2.82 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | oNx | +1.46 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | Rubaka | +0.93 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | mCon | +0.38 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | 🔴 | +0.35 | 87 | 62 |





