








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1234 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2069 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1161 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,171 of utility $290 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ | 100% | 17 |
| #2 | Craterman | 100% | 18 |
| #3 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 97% | 30 |
| #4 | Irregular | 94% | 18 |
| #5 | !Maple67 | 93% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer18+ | 10 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Bill Withers | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Deckard Cain45 | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Jetz | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill Withers | 300 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Duh Moose | 256 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jake ⚡ | 247 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Grundy | 80 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jetz | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ | +4.50 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | Gamer18+ | +4.05 | 53 | 42 |
| #3 | Craterman | +3.57 | 71 | 44 |
| #4 | !Maple67 | +3.16 | 79 | 31 |
| #5 | RNCsubco | +2.97 | 75 | 41 |





