








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3048 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6173 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 3139 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2638 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,138,308 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1873 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake ⚡ | 90% | 71 |
| #2 | Duh Moose | 89% | 100 |
| #3 | Bill Withers | 87% | 226 |
| #4 | RNCsubco | 87% | 52 |
| #5 | trevor | 80% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grundy | 822 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jetz | 459 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Duh Moose | 427 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jake ⚡ | 317 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bill Withers | 284 | 0.07 | 4 min |





