








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,808 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake ⚡ | 87% | 38 |
| #2 | Duh Moose | 84% | 38 |
| #3 | DooMe | 82% | 28 |
| #4 | RNCsubco | 80% | 25 |
| #5 | Bill Withers | 79% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duh Moose | 223 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jake ⚡ | 199 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bill Withers | 188 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pot Of Greed | 170 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Richard | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer18+ | +7.24 | 68 | 41 |
| #2 | Duh Moose | +4.63 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Jake ⚡ | +3.11 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | trevor | +2.77 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | RNCsubco | +2.68 | 76 | 57 |





