








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2784 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2264 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1639 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1818 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,591 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mruno Bars | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | sLick*. | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | AlexBG | 67% | 81 |
| #4 | FreeDotWilly | 61% | 41 |
| #5 | FuzzyHat | 58% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FuzzyHat | 58% | 220 |
| #6 | GUNK | 56% | 214 |
| #7 | Pistol Won Son | 55% | 83 |
| #8 | suff3r | 52% | 90 |
| #9 | Dr. Soup | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuzzyHat | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pistol Won Son | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | suff3r | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | GUNK | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | FreeDotWilly | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuzzyHat | 1120 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #2 | GUNK | 939 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #3 | AlexBG | 395 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dr. Soup | 376 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | suff3r | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeDotWilly | +2.58 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Kiwi | +2.03 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | GUNK | +1.66 | 74 | 77 |
| #4 | FuzzyHat | +0.82 | 70 | 78 |
| #5 | AlexBG | +0.28 | 67 | 69 |





