








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2990 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3762 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2832 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,438,108 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLick*. | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | AlexBG | 58% | 89 |
| #3 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | Mruno Bars | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | FuzzyHat | 56% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GUNK | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | FuzzyHat | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pistol Won Son | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Dr. Soup | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuzzyHat | 1425 | 0.25 | 43 min |
| #2 | GUNK | 1418 | 0.22 | 42 min |
| #3 | AlexBG | 402 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | Dr. Soup | 395 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | Kiwi | 244 | 0.13 | 5 min |





