








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4446 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3065 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2608 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1753 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,005,927 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \Spiky Spike/ | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | dvorak | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | ✪GAiBOキング | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Weguwus Cowneas | 52% | 107 |
| #5 | alexipaw | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zip lock of rat poison | 41% | 41 |
| #9 | Lambda Fox | 37% | 35 |
| #10 | goobfucker | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | PURA! | 33% | 61 |
| #12 | Tiro | 19% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪GAiBOキング | 32 | 0.0249 |
| #2 | Weguwus Cowneas | 27 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 23 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | \Spiky Spike/ | 17 | 0.0229 |
| #5 | dvorak | 7 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weguwus Cowneas | 245 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪GAiBOキング | 234 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 231 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | dvorak | 131 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | \Spiky Spike/ | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | +2.90 | 56 | 59 |
| #2 | \Spiky Spike/ | +1.98 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | Weguwus Cowneas | +1.80 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | ✪GAiBOキング | +0.65 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | TheSniffer | +0.20 | 81 | 55 |





