








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1747 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1818 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1146 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,507 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1694 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | 52% | 107 |
| #2 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 50% | 102 |
| #3 | TheSniffer | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | ✪GAiBOキング | 42% | 110 |
| #5 | dvorak | 42% | 24 |





