








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1993 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6202 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3515 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5887 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9114 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,042,361 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamingShades | 71% | 75 |
| #2 | Fekeyek | 59% | 90 |
| #3 | miku | 58% | 64 |
| #4 | 我不懂中文 | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | Sulphi | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fekeyek | 59% | 90 |
| #3 | miku | 58% | 64 |
| #4 | 我不懂中文 | 55% | 164 |
| #5 | Sulphi | 46% | 67 |
| #6 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | 13 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | 我不懂中文 | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | miku | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | GamingShades | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我不懂中文 | 629 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Fekeyek | 291 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sulphi | 216 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | miku | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | +2.23 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | TheSniffer | +1.50 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | GamingShades | +1.37 | 69 | 22 |
| #4 | miku | +1.17 | 78 | 38 |
| #5 | Fekeyek | -0.67 | 38 | 63 |





