








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1430 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1979 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,254 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre | 51% | 187 |
| #2 | BRB | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Octopus | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | kingo | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre | 51% | 187 |
| #2 | BRB | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Octopus | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | kingo | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre | 47 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 17 | 0.0436 |
| #3 | Octopus | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | kingo | 4 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre | 539 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | BRB | 246 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | 141 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #4 | Octopus | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | kingo | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyre | +1.55 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Abyss | +0.54 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | BRB | +0.23 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | ✇ N O B A ✇ | -0.07 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | Octopus | -2.27 | 76 | 40 |





