








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 760 matches | ||
| Wingman | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3256 | 13% |
| Smokes | 7541 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6391 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7917 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,034,779 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | HEAD SHOT | 46% | 112 |
| #5 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 43% | 335 |
| #6 | RaNe | 42% | 86 |
| #7 | Kill-joy jr. | 42% | 271 |
| #8 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 39% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kill-joy jr. | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | HEAD SHOT | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | FinJonu | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | RaNe | 8 | 0.0047 |





