








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 189 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2289 | 11% |
| Smokes | 6361 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6805 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6108 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,254,358 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 987 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEAD SHOT | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | Iso ApEx | 48% | 320 |
| #3 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 48% | 343 |
| #4 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 44% | 250 |
| #5 | FinJonu | 44% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEAD SHOT | 17 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | ApEx (FIN) | 16 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Iso ApEx | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 855 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | FinJonu | 673 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Iso ApEx | 217 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | ApEx (FIN) | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 157 | 0.02 | 4 min |





