








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3368 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3025 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2934 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,981 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalito | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | volt | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | Nox | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | SnoKZ | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | MaladCSGO | 58% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 0rel | 53% | 36 |
| #12 | Drago Le Pire | 48% | 31 |
| #13 | NLG06 | 47% | 32 |
| #14 | Elium945 | 46% | 28 |
| #15 | Aki | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nox | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | MaladCSGO | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | _soO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Drago Le Pire | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nox | 230 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | MaladCSGO | 225 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | volt | 210 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Drago Le Pire | 176 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | _soO | 142 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volt | +2.57 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Globalito | +2.25 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | _soO | +2.04 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | MaladCSGO | +1.80 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | SnoKZ | +1.41 | 84 | 76 |





