








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1497 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1065 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1197 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,918 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Podz | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Bippy | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Cigrits | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Green Goblin | 45% | 96 |
| #5 | Dr Grool 30K | 42% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cigrits | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Green Goblin | 45% | 96 |
| #5 | Dr Grool 30K | 42% | 103 |
| #6 | YungYoseph | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | cooterjunky | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green Goblin | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | cooterjunky | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Dr Grool 30K | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | YungYoseph | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Bippy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Grool 30K | 400 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | cooterjunky | 222 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Green Goblin | 219 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cigrits | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | YungYoseph | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Grool 30K | +1.61 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Podz | +1.25 | 70 | 50 |
| #3 | Green Goblin | +1.13 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Bippy | +0.53 | 83 | 42 |
| #5 | Bark Shark | -0.38 | 53 | 48 |





