










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4550 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3768 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3954 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2397 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,709 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bippy | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | cooterjunky | 50% | 169 |
| #3 | Cigrits | 49% | 193 |
| #4 | Green Goblin | 48% | 148 |
| #5 | Bark Shark | 42% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cooterjunky | 50% | 169 |
| #3 | Cigrits | 49% | 193 |
| #4 | Green Goblin | 48% | 148 |
| #5 | Bark Shark | 42% | 103 |
| #6 | YungYoseph | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooterjunky | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Green Goblin | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | YungYoseph | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Cigrits | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Bark Shark | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooterjunky | 443 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Green Goblin | 351 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | YungYoseph | 209 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cigrits | 178 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bark Shark | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Grool 30K | +1.43 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Green Goblin | +1.20 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Bippy | +0.43 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | Cigrits | -0.30 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | YungYoseph | -0.55 | 51 | 57 |





