










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 32% |
| Smokes | 457 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1119 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 167 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,583 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcdongle | 34 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | winton | 25 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Rzar | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Jazzer*G | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | PROBLEM | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcdongle | 238 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | winton | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rzar | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Whoomlender | 58 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | PROBLEM | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winton | +2.86 | 73 | 42 |
| #2 | mcdongle | +2.51 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | Whoomlender | +0.73 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Rzar | +0.28 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | Jazzer*G | -1.23 | 69 | 23 |





