








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




168 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5631 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4999 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7981 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,278,683 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG SALTIE | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | Whoomlender | 54% | 87 |
| #3 | Rzar | 51% | 367 |
| #4 | winton | 49% | 420 |
| #5 | Jazzer*G | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | winton | 49% | 420 |
| #5 | Jazzer*G | 49% | 68 |
| #6 | GroovyGuru | 45% | 100 |
| #7 | PROBLEM | 41% | 71 |
| #8 | Gerty. | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winton | 104 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Rzar | 45 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Whoomlender | 19 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Jazzer*G | 16 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | PROBLEM | 8 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winton | 693 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | Rzar | 474 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | Whoomlender | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | GroovyGuru | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jazzer*G | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG SALTIE | +3.20 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | winton | +2.33 | 67 | 43 |
| #3 | mcdongle | +1.96 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Rzar | +0.15 | 43 | 61 |
| #5 | Whoomlender | -0.76 | 62 | 52 |





