








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 325 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2620 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1478 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1903 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,357,095 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Whoomlender | 48% | 77 |
| #6 | GroovyGuru | 46% | 105 |
| #7 | Jazzer*G | 44% | 91 |
| #8 | Gerty. | 35% | 48 |
| #9 | PROBLEM | 35% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcdongle | 112 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Rzar | 35 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Jazzer*G | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Whoomlender | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | PROBLEM | 10 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcdongle | 904 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | Rzar | 380 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Whoomlender | 157 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | GroovyGuru | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | PROBLEM | 80 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG SALTIE | +4.02 | 61 | 54 |
| #2 | winton | +2.52 | 68 | 44 |
| #3 | mcdongle | +2.23 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | Rzar | +0.11 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | Whoomlender | -0.75 | 61 | 53 |





