








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 589 | 29% |
| Smokes | 481 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 469 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,549 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AvE | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | 0013 | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | 13yo_talent | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | NiSTEN | 39% | 51 |
| #5 | Ph-nX | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiSTEN | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | 0013 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | $onic | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ph-nX | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ptrck | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $onic | 433 | 0.38 | 11 min |
| #2 | NiSTEN | 251 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | 0013 | 122 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | ptrck | 68 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ph-nX | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13yo_talent | +3.88 | 87 | 53 |
| #2 | ptrck | +3.41 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | $onic | +3.16 | 92 | 69 |
| #4 | 0013 | +2.58 | 95 | 66 |
| #5 | AvE | -0.06 | 71 | 47 |





