








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2421 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,077 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | right | 63% | 110 |
| #2 | DONNIE DARKO | 62% | 107 |
| #3 | Mayson12381 | 61% | 111 |
| #4 | ptrck | 59% | 134 |
| #5 | NiSTEN | 41% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mayson12381 | 61% | 111 |
| #4 | ptrck | 59% | 134 |
| #5 | NiSTEN | 41% | 74 |
| #6 | Ph-nX | 40% | 25 |
| #7 | sc0ttzen | 34% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DONNIE DARKO | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ptrck | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mayson12381 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | NiSTEN | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | right | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | right | 595 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mayson12381 | 532 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | ptrck | 422 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | NiSTEN | 361 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | DONNIE DARKO | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayson12381 | +1.73 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | DONNIE DARKO | +1.63 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | $onic | +1.28 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | ptrck | +0.90 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | right | +0.23 | 71 | 78 |





