








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1378 | 39% |
| Smokes | 760 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 654 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,490 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0013 | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | $onic | 41% | 74 |
| #3 | sc0ttzen | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | ptrck | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Ph-nX | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | $onic | 41% | 74 |
| #3 | sc0ttzen | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | ptrck | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Ph-nX | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | ˢʷ³ᵍ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $onic | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | 0013 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ptrck | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $onic | 471 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | 0013 | 137 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | sc0ttzen | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ptrck | 68 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ph-nX | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $onic | +3.41 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | ptrck | +3.08 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | 0013 | +2.83 | 94 | 65 |
| #4 | NiSTEN | -2.47 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | sc0ttzen | -2.66 | 47 | 53 |





