








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3417 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2182 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,115 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n44s | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Geronimo | 56% | 79 |
| #3 | Y9WANN ✠ | 55% | 86 |
| #4 | ><))> | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | The german Bulldozer | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geronimo | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Y9WANN ✠ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | The german Bulldozer | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ><))> | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | n44s | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9WANN ✠ | 444 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Geronimo | 273 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | The german Bulldozer | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | n44s | 46 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | BOT G0vux ☕ | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ewint58 | +1.38 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | Geronimo | +1.28 | 75 | 76 |
| #3 | n44s | +1.00 | 83 | 79 |
| #4 | Y9WANN ✠ | -0.67 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | The german Bulldozer | -1.18 | 65 | 62 |





