








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1390 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3327 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3334 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,703 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danilo | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Paintball Dave | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | 同性愛な黒人 poo sheisty | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Neek | 57% | 47 |
| #5 | ketoky friechik | 50% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cgar | 49% | 89 |
| #8 | Teenis Envy | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | fukyoumean!!!! | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | Reacher | 44% | 64 |
| #11 | fella | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketoky friechik | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | cgar | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Paintball Dave | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | fukyoumean!!!! | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketoky friechik | 342 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | fella | 196 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 137 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | fukyoumean!!!! | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Reacher | 110 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | +5.44 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | danilo | +2.45 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | ketoky friechik | +1.54 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Reacher | +1.34 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | Teenis Envy | +0.38 | 69 | 63 |





