








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1518 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 859 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 798 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,451 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaw | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | cgar | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | ketoky friechik | 59% | 179 |
| #4 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 57% | 74 |
| #5 | fella | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ketoky friechik | 59% | 179 |
| #4 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 57% | 74 |
| #5 | fella | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Reacher | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | fukyoumean!!!! | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketoky friechik | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | cgar | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Jaw | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | fella | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketoky friechik | 244 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | fella | 198 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jaw | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | fukyoumean!!!! | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danilo | +2.09 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | ketoky friechik | +1.29 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Reacher | +0.85 | 91 | 43 |
| #4 | fella | -0.64 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Prestone® Antifreeze | -0.73 | 77 | 57 |





