








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8933 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7215 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4930 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6144 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,334,635 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaid | 65% | 82 |
| #2 | Pod | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Real | 60% | 117 |
| #4 | Chonne | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | furrypotter | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BluFF | 55% | 89 |
| #7 | EthereaL | 55% | 82 |
| #8 | precog` | 50% | 94 |
| #9 | Morty | 47% | 157 |
| #10 | Hood | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morty | 20 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Real | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | precog` | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | furrypotter | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | BluFF | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 677 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | BluFF | 468 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | precog` | 379 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Morty | 287 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kaid | 190 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaid | +2.09 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | BluFF | +1.91 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | xn | +1.46 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | EthereaL | +1.38 | 69 | 47 |
| #5 | Real | +0.93 | 77 | 65 |





