








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1678 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2871 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1656 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1528 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,796,934 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | Squigie | 53% | 189 |
| #3 | Old Monk | 49% | 174 |
| #4 | YU-Uglee | 46% | 269 |
| #5 | bhenchod | 39% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YU-Uglee | 26 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Old Monk | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | bhenchod | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | RYJZ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YU-Uglee | 239 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | Squigie | 157 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Old Monk | 118 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Anday Wala Burger | 113 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ski ca bon babi jem | +6.54 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | ShifT | +3.42 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | Squigie | +1.87 | 63 | 36 |
| #4 | Old Monk | +0.67 | 33 | 33 |
| #5 | YU-Uglee | -1.50 | 22 | 37 |





