








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1015 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1233 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,151 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Old Monk | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | Murder Snatch | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | YU-Uglee | 53% | 101 |
| #5 | ShifT | 53% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Murder Snatch | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | YU-Uglee | 53% | 101 |
| #5 | ShifT | 53% | 189 |
| #6 | RYJZ | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | bhenchod | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Old Monk | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | bhenchod | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | 211 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Old Monk | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | RYJZ | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ski ca bon babi jem | +5.74 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | ShifT | +3.21 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | Squigie | +1.81 | 62 | 36 |
| #4 | Old Monk | +0.94 | 34 | 33 |
| #5 | YU-Uglee | -1.97 | 22 | 34 |





