










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 264 | 33% |
| Smokes | 347 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 126 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 64 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,623 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squigie | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | bhenchod | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | ShifT | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | bhenchod | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | ShifT | 38% | 66 |
| #6 | Murder Snatch | 30% | 10 |
| #7 | RYJZ | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | bhenchod | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Squigie | 1 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ski ca bon babi jem | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | YU-Uglee | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | RYJZ | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | bhenchod | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ski ca bon babi jem | +8.09 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | Squigie | +3.70 | 78 | 20 |
| #3 | ShifT | +3.04 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | YU-Uglee | -0.75 | 21 | 44 |
| #5 | Anday Wala Burger | -2.38 | 34 | 40 |





