








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 5% |
| Smokes | 454 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 919 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,353 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YU-Uglee | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ShifT | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Old Monk | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | bhenchod | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Squigie | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | YU-Uglee | 99 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Old Monk | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Squigie | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Anday Wala Burger | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShifT | +4.41 | 71 | 46 |
| #2 | Squigie | +3.32 | 60 | 38 |
| #3 | Old Monk | +1.96 | 39 | 36 |
| #4 | Anday Wala Burger | +0.03 | 41 | 55 |
| #5 | YU-Uglee | -0.37 | 23 | 39 |





