








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 209 | 12% |
| Smokes | 373 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,919 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stryd | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | SturmS | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Stoly | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | der Lehrling | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Gatze | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoly | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Gatze | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | der Lehrling | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stryd | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | SturmS | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoly | +4.51 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | Stryd | +4.00 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Gatze | +2.99 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | der Lehrling | +0.03 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | 4Tr1X | -0.21 | 72 | 47 |





