








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9912 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8111 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6138 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6440 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,399 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >Silver Blondie< | 53% | 290 |
| #2 | Cwood | 52% | 269 |
| #3 | No | 52% | 292 |
| #4 | TheDyl | 50% | 437 |
| #5 | Chup_aa | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >Silver Blondie< | 53% | 290 |
| #2 | Cwood | 52% | 269 |
| #3 | No | 52% | 292 |
| #4 | TheDyl | 50% | 437 |
| #5 | Chup_aa | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheDyl | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | No | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Cwood | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | >Silver Blondie< | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Chup_aa | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheDyl | 1218 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #2 | Cwood | 661 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | >Silver Blondie< | 393 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | No | 382 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Chup_aa | 76 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chup_aa | +3.95 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | ROOK | +0.90 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | No | +0.73 | 48 | 50 |
| #4 | TheDyl | +0.39 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Cwood | -0.01 | 63 | 51 |





